i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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