we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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