69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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