I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This baby is an asshole
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
