That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
