I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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