im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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