Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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