do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
