And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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