Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
