And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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