$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
