Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
