the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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