i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
