I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
