This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
