During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
