White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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