Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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