Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
