There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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