He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize