Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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