i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
