She is in my trunk
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
