The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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