sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
