Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
