also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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