I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
