I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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