Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
