Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
