Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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