This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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