Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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