420 ftw
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
