dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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