yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize