Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
