Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Two words: nipple clamps
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