Non-Jews are for practice
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
