I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
