Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
