Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
