I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
