margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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