it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
