I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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