Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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