After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
